Archive for February, 2009

Feb200919

9:21 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

This is the day that the Lord has made. The Lord has made this very day to further me in his causes. May I remember that and act appropriately, may I rejoice and be glad in it. Lord, let my rest today not be a vanity, but let me rest unto your glory. Let me cast off every hint of hopelessness. Let me instead meditate on your goodness and mercy which follow me every moment. How can a Christian loose hope when we have such a great God? a God who is continually acting powerfully for us in ways we cannot see.

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Feb200917

5:36 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Will I always be so hard towards God in the mornings? Lord, I am in special need of you today. Let me cast off this aroma of death. Let me be salt and light. Conform me to thy image.
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Lord, my mind is continually wandering. Is this not a result of a failure to see your holiness, beauty, worthiness, glories, and love. All of these things are so transfixing that they ought capture my imagination. Capture me in this way. Let me be caught up.
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Prov. 22:4 makes me hope that God is in the process of pushing me down in the dirt and humbling me. Let it be so. Let me there abide. Pride is too hard of a task-master for me. Make me humble so that you might lift me up. In humility, give me a new fear of your name that I might not sin against you. Keep your testimonies continually in my heart, so that I might walk according towards your statutes and not by my own whims and fancies. All of this, you will do in me day by day. Thank you for your guidance to me. Who am I, that I get to be guided by the Almighty? I, who do not deserve the least understudy gets the Master himself. Oh my soul, will you not look to these things and rejoice? Will you not do your all to walk in a manner worthy of God’s graces towards you? He that is so kind towards you, would you give dishonor in return? Lord, cast this evil man away from me. How long will you bear with his iniquities? Cast him far off so that my cares would not be money, sleep, family, ease, and the applause of man; but that my end might be you. In this also, you will not fail. You will cleanse me of my enemy.

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Feb200916

5:36 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Lord, work your will in me this morning. Let me find you with ease or with difficulty according to your good pleasure.
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Your word says; “The righteous gives and does not hold back” (Prov. 21:26). Make me into such a man. Let me follow your example of extravagant love towards those that don’t deserve it. Let your gospel shine forth in this. Thank you that I can depend on you to fill me up as I give away that which I needed and wanted. Lord, you are a rock and a hight tower. Be my assurance of success. As I depend on you alone, men will see that it is not in vain to trust in the Lord. Moreover, my own soul will grow to trust you. Let me hear your voice Lord. If the standard is; “My sheep know my voice,” then I am a poor sheep indeed. Teach me to hear, for I know not how to go about learning other than in prayer and in reading your word.

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Feb200915

1:23 pm

Mike

0

Communion Journal

You will not let the nations say of me, “where is his God,” for you will lift me up. Thank you oh Lord, the work has already been done, the sacrifice made, the propitiation laid up. Now my heart can rest in you. You will never fail me. You will guide me down the right paths. Naught but good will ever betide me. You see, oh my enemy? Rejoice not when I stumble, for my God is YHVH and he will not let me fall. Rejoice oh ye saints, for God is our God. How happy, that I get to seek the Lord every day. Some days will be easy, some hard: both are a blessing from his hand.

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Feb200915

6:45 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Do I desire God like Asaph and Heman? Will I be content with less and go my way? If God does not come, will I still be here searching hours from now, late into the night even? Lord, make me into such a man. Let me not set the standard by what those around me accomplish, but by what your scriptures declare as truth. Thank you for that standard, that I might not be tossed to and fro but may learn to steadily seek after you. Thank you that you will subvert this whole universe towards your will in this, that I might be a searcher of you.

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Feb200915

6:20 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

My prayers this morning have been week and ineffectual. My mind has been wandering; I long to stop. I have little hope for success in finding God. My faith is abysmal. I do not want to be journaling about this. And yet I do so for this reason: I will rise. Perhaps in five minutes, perhaps in five days, but it will happen. My lord will lift me up. So I do him honor by highlighting the depths of my faithlessness now, so that the light might shine forth all the brighter when it comes. Lord, let my trials of faith serve the good of your saints and your namesake.

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Feb200914

2:08 pm

Mike

0

Communion Journal

My soul seems perturbed and frustrated that I have to seek God again. Can’t I have a day off? Don’t I get a break from pursuing him? As a compromise, I want to offer up good service and conversation. I’ll read, pray, or do anything rather than the soul rending work of being content with nothing less than God himself. Lord, lift me out of this attitude. Let me know the sinfulness of it, so that I might repent.
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Psa. 145. Lord, let me dwell with you, there I will find true peace. Let me find meaning in extolling you and blessing your name. Help me to meditate on your wonderous works. Help me to be good to all as you are. Use me to make known your mighty deeds. Help me to rest in your gospel and not in my might.

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Feb200912

9:20 pm

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Awesome are your deeds among the children of men oh Lord. And awesome are your deeds in my heart. You have made me—even me—a servant of you. You have taken my cold, dead heart and replaced it with a heart of flesh. You are with us, who can stand against? You bless, who can curse? What can man do to the one whom the Lord delights to honor? Let the world see, though my blessedness, how great is our God!

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Feb200912

6:20 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Is there some hidden pride in me in finding you? Must I then despair of finding before you will lift me up? Do you mean your Church and myself good in my failures? Then may I walk in contrition until you reveal yourself to me.

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Feb200912

5:51 am

Mike

0

Communion Journal

Why do I not pray more strongly for God’s presence? Is it because I do not want to find him? Is it fear that he will ignore my best efforts? Is it failure or success my sinful, doubting soul fears more? Arise my soul! cast off your guilty fears. Though my best efforts deserve to be ignored, he will not ignore the intercession of his Son. Though he is a terror, it is a delight to fear him. Lift me up Lord, oh that I might seek with my whole heart. Let me not offer up my weak, ineffectual search and call it holy or think I merit your favor for it. My soul is full of vice and pride this morning. Thank you for revealing these sins to me. Now help me to cast them off.
Have mercy on me Father. I don’t have all the means I typically have to search after you, but they are only means. It is your mercy and kindness alone that allows me to commune with you. Break through my sins, for they are too strong for me. Deliver me, that I might praise your name.

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