Communion Journal

My faith has developed in some extraordinary ways over the last two years. I can now believe that God can and will do extraordinary things for the sake of his people, which has allowed me to live in the extraordinary manner of this past two years. Now, I long for a seasonedness to my faith. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and be able to believe that God loves me, to feel that love, and to love him in return. Perhaps I act too much like a newlywed instead of a man who has developed consistency over many days of living.
Lord, as your love for me has never wavered, so let my love for you never waver. Thank you that my heart is warmer now than when I awoke. Yet I long for a further softening. Send me contrition. Send me joy. Without your Spirit moving in me, I am less than a worm. Yet in you, I am an heir to the kingdom. What contrition and joy I ought have continually.

Thank you Lord for the great men of faith. Men who felt their way into the unknown darkness of Christianity led only by you. Abraham had few of the benefits I enjoy: no word, no sacrament, no church, no history. Yet he had you, and you were more than enough for him. May I learn from these stories of your care and provision. Oh my soul, put your whole trust in the Lord. He alone is worthy of such trust. What a benefit you will have when you trust him. Even now, God is working in thousands of situations for my good, while I feebly strive to find him. What a wonder is our God.

The last several days, I have not been able to write when I finally dawned upon glory. How do I write when I would rather be enjoying my God? Today it swept over me as I was listening to Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring. This song to me right now is like how God is composing all of history to his glory and our good. Every note lovingly placed and ordained to make his masterpiece. What a God we serve.

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