Communion Journal

Woke early this morning with plans to find joy in the Lord, and then to go out and do whatever work he would bless me with. Had high hopes of accomplishing this as I usually find joy quickly when I wake up early and seek it and God promises good work for his saints in Ephesians.

It didn’t work out the way I had planned.

For some reason yet unknown to me, I could not find joy in any of the great things of God. I could go over many glorious things in my mind that I knew were glorious and that ought lift me to communion with my God. Yet they did not touch my heart.

Observe,

  1. I woke up early to find him for the sole reasons, I trust, of finding him and working unto him.
  2. I started with the best prayers I knew to pray, dedicating my time to him and pleading with him, for the sake of his Son and his kingdom to allow me to find joy and give me work to do.
  3. I read and meditated on some Psalms, which from past experience, is the best book to lift me to joy.
  4. I refused comfort in other things (though I did take some breakfast) not wanting to take satisfaction in anything before satisfaction was found in God.

    Yet in all of this, I could not find God. An hour or so after I had started my pursuit, I still had no satisfaction in divine things.

Then, I listened to Piper’s biography on Brainerd. How encouraging it can be to see other men who failed more spectacularly that I do, yet who God used in exceedingly spectacular ways. While thus enabled to worship God, I took a bike ride while still listening to the biography and was able to meditate and pray on several divine subjects while thus engaged.

Oh my soul, if you read this again later, note how you now rejoice that you did not find God at first attempt. It is never in vain that the saints call out to God and seek him. If he is hard to find, it is for some particular blessing that will more than make up for the immediate lack. This will always be the way with God. Do not despair, though he appears to tarry, his coming awaits the appointed, and thus perfect, time.

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