Communion Journal

Our hearts crave security. Right now, we want for nothing. As far as blessings go, we have just about everything that our hearts desire … except security in those things. Is not God secure enough for us? Owning little and having no job, we get to see how secure we are when we trust in God. Yet, even now—perhaps I should say especially now—we see how little we actually feel secure in the Lords arms. I know I would feel much more secure if we owned a house and I had a steady job that used my talents. I know the reality is that I would not be more secure, but apparently I don’t really know it, or my heart would follow suit.

Had a day today where I felt very little need to self-justify. Felt a good degree of contentment in the Lord, but lacked being overjoyed in him until we had an especially good time of prayer in the evening with a friend. What can’t saints accomplish in prayer? If I could excel in any act of faith, I think it would be prayer … even before evangelism.

On Tuesday of this week, and on Monday of last week, I took a day off of all labor. I especially rested from doubting our way of life. What a relief that was to go a day without constantly questioning. I think I question more than I should. I do this for the sake of the many people around us who don’t think what we are doing is right. Placating the “many counselors” is a constant drain on my emotional energy.* Thank God for Sabbath. I’m not sure if it is right for me to take it on a day other than Sunday—especially since I’m not a preacher—but Saturday and Sunday are often the days where I spend the most energy.

*Regarding counselors: I’m reminded of a Chambers’ quote, where referencing Gal. 1:16, he says; “Never ask the advice of another about anything God makes you decide before Him. If you ask advice, you will nearly always side with Satan.” Elsewhere Chambers says; “We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him.” These are confusing concepts. Nonetheless, I think they are true.

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