CategoryCommunion Journal

Communion Journal

Today was another uphill battle to find joy. Yet my head broke through the clouds on several occasions. Was able to meet with some men tonight and had much freedom in prayer to plead with God, to see his smiling face, and to confess my sinfulness before him. What a joy is our God. He blesses us with all blessings and more besides. What a bliss it will be to cast of the husk of flesh that hates...

Communion Journal

Yesterday joy was elusive. Fought with some degree of persistence and found joy but would quickly loose it to return to a pensive, doubting, fearful frame. Yesterday evening was enabled to enjoy a sweet, trusting frame and to share that hope with friends. Today is also one of striving but with more success. Was enabled with some fervency to dedicate all to God. Once again felt faced with an offer...

Communion Journal

Have been fairly sick today. Yet even in the midst of retching, I have been enabled to cry out to God for holiness. If this sickness aids my putting off of the old man then it is exactly what I want. Lord, make me as sick as is necessary to turn my heart towards you.

Communion Journal

Had eyes to see God’s holiness to a large degree this morning. This led to repentance and wonder that it is God’s very holiness that he communicates to us. This realization led to more repentance: God gives us his own holiness for free, and yet we continue to live our lives in our own strength and power. We could have God’s own love, God’s own spirit of forgiveness and longsuffering communicated...

Communion Journal

Wrestled hard today for communion with God. Yet in all my wrestling I was also denying using the proper means unto that communion. I woke up early, I prayed, I read scripture, I meditated on songs and stories of grace. Yet in all of this I did not attend unto the Spirit of grace who alone can lift our heads to see our Savior. Owen says of this: These things ought to be explicitly attended unto by...

Communion Journal

Yesterday, was able to reflect on recent events with a joy-filled heart. It often seems that much of our time is spent in a state of murmuring (which God calls rebellion) rather than in contentment with what he is doing. It is hard to see the extent of this but by looking back while in communion with God.

Communion Journal

Have been struggling after God most of the day today with only small glimpses of success. Monday, I had a day that was extremely filled with sweetness in communion with God, yet I didn’t write anything down from the time. Yesterday as well, found some communion in the book of Job. Yet today is much harder. The reason I’m making sure to write about it is so that I can laugh at my accuser later...

Communion Journal

Had a few moments of freedom in prayer this morning and glimpses of God’s glory. Yet prayer and seeking has been more characterized by lifelessness. In a way this coldness (or at least the awareness of it) is a small victory. It has been a long time since I’ve fought for God hard enough to feel the weight of failure therein.

Communion Journal

Came to some degree of fervency in prayer this morning. As our situation comes to be less desperate, I tend to pray with less passion. I’m not sure the best way to combat this. This is all the more reason to rejoice that I’ve been able to pray with some freedom this morning.

Communion Journal

I woke up today ready to get to work, but I reminded myself to spend a few minutes reading and praying. These few minutes turned into several hours of writing prayerfully. … I have been experiencing doubt as a result of so much of the church disagreeing with us about the Christian life. Today, I was refreshed in talking with a man who probably knows almost no reformed doctrine, yet he knew about...

Random Quote

There is none by whom the gospel is refused, but they put forth an act of the will in its rejection, which all men are free unto and able for: “I would have gathered you, but ye would not,” Matt. 23:37. “Ye will not come to me, that ye may have life,” John 5:40

— John Owen

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