Why do I not pray more strongly for God’s presence? Is it because I do not want to find him? Is it fear that he will ignore my best efforts? Is it failure or success my sinful, doubting soul fears more? Arise my soul! cast off your guilty fears. Though my best efforts deserve to be ignored, he will not ignore the intercession of his Son. Though he is a terror, it is a delight to fear him. Lift me up Lord, oh that I might seek with my whole heart. Let me not offer up my weak, ineffectual search and call it holy or think I merit your favor for it. My soul is full of vice and pride this morning. Thank you for revealing these sins to me. Now help me to cast them off.
Have mercy on me Father. I don’t have all the means I typically have to search after you, but they are only means. It is your mercy and kindness alone that allows me to commune with you. Break through my sins, for they are too strong for me. Deliver me, that I might praise your name.
Communion Journal
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