Communion Journal

C

Yesterday morning had a good time of prayer and yet afterward struggled with smugness as doing all my duty before God by my life and prayer.
Kill it in me Lord.
Thus, for today, I have been in a way of confusion. Is God calling me to do this thing or that thing? Perhaps this is God’s voice, perhaps my own conscience, perhaps my wandering mind, perhaps some demon.
Lord, give me a steadiness of walk. I do know your voice, I believe, buy my doubts and faithlessness cause me to look for your voice where it is not. Lord, let me find you today for this is my highest good. If I cannot find you, let me seek after you with my whole strength for this is my highest duty. If I can not thus seek, let me be full of contrition and morning—for I am the most miserable of men without you nor means to you. If I cannot be full of contrition—then woe is me. I show myself as a Laodicean.

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By Mike

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[Prayer is] The hardest work of all—a labour above all labours, since he who prays must wage almighty warfare against the doubt and murmuring excited by the faint-heartedness and unworthiness we feel within us…that unutterable and powerful groaning with which the godly rouse themselves against despair, the struggle in which they call mightily upon their faith.

— Martin Luther

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