Have felt trapped lately. I can’t go back. This is the only type of life I desire. I can’t seem to find much success moving forward either. I had thought that we would meet with much success quickly after we left Hickory—so far that hasn’t seemed to have happened. My devotionals lately have been a mirror of this.
God can’t be bought. He can’t be found by the earnestness of the seeker. Yet he delights to reveal himself to those who seek. Seeking is a futile exercise on our part, yet God loves to bless it. This seems a hard thing right now. It seems often that I must seek until I despair of finding, despair of all my efforts and labors—and then God lifts me up. This process of getting to the point of despair day after day is a hard one.
